Fisher Administration bails out Kobe Corporations
Written by ZakKertesz, Saturday June 13 2009
----I felt it. Dwight Howard felt it (you could see it on his face). And I assume everyone else in Amway Arena felt it. Did you? That overwhelming feeling of emotion conquering your body: all arising from the little 7-year-old girl. Gina Marie Incandela, diagnosed with an autistic spectrum disorder, unable to speak just a few years ago, touched the hearts of millions as she sang the National Anthem. The sports chills traveled through my body and it seemed as if this miracle of a voice was just what the Magic needed to tie the series up. And it worked, it really did. It’s just too bad she wasn’t allowed to sing at halftime, because that’s when it all went downhill for
In the first half, the Magic built up their biggest lead of the series. Superman had 9 rebounds and 3 blocks in just the first few minutes of the game. Skip (Rafer Alston) was back on the playground as he began 4/5 from the field. The Lakers front court was in foul trouble as Josh Powell and D.J. Mbenga (who, right?) were inserted into the game. And by the half, the Magic led 49-37.
Cue in Gina Marie. Or don’t.
And that’s when the game turned.
Down the stretch, the game was as close as the Gore-Bush race (you know what, this series needs a recount: Gasol’s goaltend!), until someone came up big. Huge. Bigger than Phil Jackson’s ridiculously raised leather seat, bigger than Dwight Howard’s shoulders and yes, even bigger than the belly on Stan Van Gundy (sorry Stan, you’re still The GQ Man).
The savior of the game. The Messiah of the moment:
Hence, it wasn’t
So who was it? It was The Derek Fisher Administration who bailed out the stock value of Kobe Corporations, the same way The Obama Administration bailed out AIG.
…And who knows what could have happened from there. If
(Having gone to two straight NBA Finals and losing both. Moreover, losing his last three appearances in the Finals as a whole. But that’s all unsubstantiated gossip now, thanks to The Fisher Administration.)
President Barack Obama must have called Fisher before the game and let him know what bailout plans are all about. Let him know how to give out the special aide to those in need of it. By the by, Hedo-He Does Turkoglu did in fact receive a call from the Turkish Prime Minister, Recep Tayyip Erdogan, before the game. But it looks as if Recep was outmatched by Barack. Go Barack!
Consequently,
Besides the bailout plan by The Fisher Administration, whenever
However,
Nonetheless, years from now, when NBA historians rank
No one will remember Kobe needed a big, no one will remember Kobe needed King Phil and undoubtedly, no one will remember The Fisher Administration bailout plan.
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