I need to begin this column with a disclaimer. It goes as follows:

This column is written with great respect for those who play college football. Nothing that follows is said in mocking fashion, nor do I think that I am in any way better than any of these athletes. This is simply a labor of love committed to the entertainment of my readers.

Now a little bit of background into the reason for this article. A couple of years ago I saw a name of a college football player that was simply astonishing in its innovation and perfection. D'Brickashaw Ferguson remains the single greatest name I have ever heard, and it might be several decades before anything tops it.

Ever since the left tackle from Virginia graduated to the NFL (he is on the Jets), I have wanted to go through the rosters of all Division 1 teams and pull out some of the great, strange and memorable names that litter team rosters.

Again, what follows is not meant to demean or anything like that. This took a really long time to research and it is my hope that it gives you some good laughs simply because of the greatness of these names.

There will be several categories, ending with the D'Brickashaw Award for Name of the Year.

The Greatest First Names in the Country

Razzie Smith, CB, Boston College

Mister Alexander, CB, Florida State

Neefy Moffett, DE, Florida State

Cooter Arnold, WR, North Carolina

Ulysses Tuft, RB, NC State

Lonzie Range, WR, Iowa State

Tertavian Ingram, WR, Kansas

Darcel McBath, S, Texas Tech

Jabu Lovelace, QB, Rutgers

Mistral Raymond, DB, South Florida

Guesly Darvil, DB, West Virginia

Boogie Allen, DB, West Virginia

Selvish Capers, OL, West Virginia

Miami Thomas, DB, Illinois

Jewhan Edwards, DT, Minnesota

Knowledge Timmons, CB, Penn State

Norbie Juist, LS, Houston

Kindly Jacques, OL, Memphis

Swayze Waters, K, UAB

Brandis Dew, DL, UTEP

Spain Cosby, LB, Ball State

Fitz Bobo, WR, Miami (OH)

Senate Alexander, WR, Temple

Denmark Gibbs, LB, Western Michigan

Amadeus Waters, S, Colorado State

Jacquizz Rodgers, RB, Oregon State

Boyblue Aoelua, LB, New Mexico State

The Best Surnames in the Country

Willy Korn, QB, Clemson

Will Snyderwine, K, Duke

R.J. Dill, OL, Maryland

Jordan Futch, LB, Miami

Andy Barbee, C, NC State

Jaree Cheeseman, RB, Virginia Tech

Dustin Pickle, RB, Virginia Tech

Douglas Rippy, LB, Colorado

Stephen Ruempolhamer, DT, Iowa State

Justin Rumple, LB, Iowa State

Jonte Bumpus, DE, Oklahoma

Grayson Buster, K, Oklahoma State

Travis Buttrey, DL, West Virginia

Cody Nutter, TE, West Virginia

Arrelious Benn, WR, Illinois

Cody Stunkard, DB, Illinois

Brandon Bugg, LS, Indiana

Marvin McNutt, QB, Iowa

Trent Mossbrucker, K, Iowa

David Moosman, OL, Michigan

Kevin Pickleman, DT, Michigan State

Chris Bunders, OL, Minnesota

Ryan Ruckdashel, G, Minnesota

Mike Kafka, QB, Northwestern

Tim Weak, K, Northwestern

Ricky Weina, CB, Northwestern

Austin Spitler, LB, Ohio State

Johnnie Troutman, T, Penn State

Roberto McBean, WR, Purdue

Dustin Lineback, LB, East Carolina

Marcus Hands, DL, East Carolina

Darius Passmore, WR, Marshall (great name for a WR)

Stuart Lips, DB, Marshall

Jeremy Rockette, LB, Memphis

Will Fruitt, LB, Memphis

Will Butts, LS, Memphis

Clark Fangmeier, K, Rice

Chris Banjo, DB, SMU

Lyle Dankenbring, DB, UCF

Greg Bulls, OL, UAB

Jonathan Bulls, P, Army

Carlo Sandiego, RB, Army

Jared Wackerly, QB, Akron

Graham Whinery, OL, Buffalo

Frank Zombo, DE, Central Michigan

D.J. Pirkle, DL, N. Illinois

Josh Droppers, OL, W. Michigan

Andrew Pipes, C, Air Force

Matt Ah You, LB, BYU

T.J. Borcky, QB, Colorado State

Jon Toledo, WR, San Diego State

Brendon Lamers, P, UNLV

Bryson Studnicka, LB, Wyoming

Terry Longbons, RB, Arizona

Gerald Flunder, P, Arizona State

David Martini, CB, UCLA

Jordan White-Frisbee, G, Washington

Brandon Fanney, LB, Alabama

Duke Lemmens, DE, Florida

Darius Dewberry, LB, Georgia

Dustin Luck, G, Kentucky

Philip Pigott, RB, LSU

Dion LeCorn, WR, South Carolina

Jared Funk, QB, Vanderbilt

Adam Smotherman, DT, Vanderbilt

The Names I Will Consider if I Change My Name

Cannon Smith, QB, Miami (if that is his birth name then that is devastatingly awesome)

John Stamper, S, Wake Forest

Chantz McClinic, LB, Wake Forest

Hunter Hightower, C, Baylor

Josh Raven, LB, Iowa State

Xavier Rambo, WR, Kansas (Holy freaking hell. Are you serious?)

Stryker Sulak, DL, Missouri

Forrest Shock, WR, Missouri

Brik Brinker, WR, Texas Tech

Rock Keys, TE, Louisville

Austin Ransom, LB, Pittsburgh

Gino Crump, WR, West Virginia

Thor Merrow, DL, West Virginia

Stone Pinckney, LB, Northwestern

Jake Stoneburner, WR, Ohio State

Tank Carder, LB, TCU

Grayson Dart, CB, Utah

Thor Pili, DE, UNLV

Dax Crum, QB, Wyoming

Brock Mansion, QB, California

Skylar Stormo, TE, Washington State

Raven Gray, DE, Auburn

Foxy Foxworth, TE, South Carolina

Jaquan Kilcrease, CB, Arkansas State (Oh. My. God. Awesome.)

Dusty Mack, TE, Louisiana-Lafayette

Dwight Dasher, Middle Tennessee State

Brock Stickler, WR, North Texas

Tyler Dragon, Fresno State (.....................................)

Steele Jantz, QB, Hawaii

Magnum Mauga, DT, Utah State

Joe King, OL, Texas Tech

Names That I Personally Would Get Changed

Brian Hummer, DB, Kent State

Ross Cumming, LB, USC

Joey Crappell, C, LSU

Chris Smelley, QB, South Carolina

Charlie Brown, DT, North Texas

Willie Packer, DL, Southern Miss

The Whimsically Fantastic

George George, DE, Virginia Tech

Tonga Tea, DT, Oklahoma State

Windham Rotunda, Troy

Lineage Award - Talmadge Jackson III, CB, Oregon

Most Likely to Be Cordially Addressed Award - SirVincent Rogers, OL, Houston and Sir DeMarco Bledsoe, S, TCU

Most Likely To become a Comedian - Dane Cook, S, Ball State

Most Undue Pressure on a Kid Award - Savier Stephens, RB, Air Force

Least Likely To Be Invited to a Halloween Party - Michael Myers, RB, Colorado State

Most Pious Team Award - TCU (CB Rafael Priest, K Jake Pray, WR Ryan Christian)

Most Likely To Always Have Their First Names Read in Full During Roll Call - Michael Hunt, RB, Ball State and Michael Hunt, LB, Mississippi State

Biggest Brown-Noser - Ryan Succop, K, South Carolina

Most Likely to Offend a Dyslexic Reader - Forrest Rucker, WR, North Texas

and finally...

The Best of the Best in College Football

Bearthur Johnson, OL, Maryland (His first name is one of the Golden Girls. That is amazing)

Penisini Liu, OL, Kansas State (I don't know that any explanation is needed)

Zaire Kitchen, DB, Rutgers (A thousand times yes)

Prince Moody, DB, Wisconsin (An evil Disney character?)

Chubb Small, RB, Marshall (Yep. That JUST happened)

Tommy Mama, DB, Central Michigan (I bet no one has ever commented on that one)

Grant Crunkleton, CB, Arizona State (That name fills me with child-like wonderment)

Captain Munnerlyn, CB, South Carolina (I wonder if he goes by 'Cappy' or 'Cap'm' for short)

Tim Fugger, DE, Vanderbilt (Be careful with that one)

Cordarious Mingo, CB, Akansas State (There are no words)

This list is amazing, no doubt. But as was the case with D'Brickashaw, one name stood out amongst the crowd. Without further ado, I give you the first annual D'Brickashaw Ferguson Name of the Year Award winner:

Yourhighness Morgan, LB, Florida Atlantic (When I saw this I had 12 simultaneous heart attacks. That name is simply unbeatable. Next year's entrants have quite a bar set for them)

And there you have it. The absolute best names in all of college football. This took me about two weeks to compile, so I really hope you enjoyed it.